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BIRTHDAYS ARE SCARY

I've been pretty busy with work these last couple of months, but honestly I've also been doing quite a bit of brain work.  Well, honestly ... therapy.   To put it bluntly, trauma therapy.  I've also been slowly scraping up to finish my envelopes (no, I'm not rich and don't have millions just lying around to waste) to finish my 55 Birthday project for myself.   I had been doing pretty well recovering from my family tragedy back in the fall ... or so I thought, but I had been doing some work on blank memory spaces for a couple of years.  This event just brought it all up and well, frankly, just dumped all the shit out of my brain and then I had to put it back together.  I'm still putting it back together ... but I'm taking out A LOT of the trash!!  It's a good thing and it's quite healing.  But, boy it's an ugly process on some days.  So if you know, you know!!!  I will say "The Body Keeps Score" is an amazing book ... I recommen...
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Part I ... The Seeds

PART I Planting a Few Seeds  Well ... I've just returned from my travels and was busy getting my house back in order so I didn't get to the email straight away.  I finally sit down and get it opened up and ... O.M.G.!!!! Never heard of Reddit ... never even thought that someone would think it was a SCAM!!  But I am encouraged nonetheless.   When I left ... I planted the first seed in my home town when I filled up for gas.  As I traveled, I just randomly placed envelopes wherever I felt inclined.  Rest stop bathrooms (yes, the Reddit pic), Restaurant bathrooms & tables, sight seeing places, grocery store shelves, hotel rooms ... wherever the seeds fell.   I still have more seeds to plant before my birthday.   As I'm reading some of the emails, my smile got bigger and I teared up a bit.  Out of the 55 ... if it reached one and made their life better ... mission accomplished.   I guess I should mention the Reddit thi...
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The Beginning of the Journey

 Hi ... my name is "Emily".  I can promise, I'm a real person, just wishing to remain uncredited in my JOURNEY TO 55.  The real hero's are the people that crossed MY path during the 5 years before ...  When I turned 50, I was broken, grieving, morbidly obese, depressed and ready to give up on life.  No living, but on life in general.  Excepting that my lot in life was loneliness, bitterness, sadness, and all the physical effects that come with it. Right after I turned 50, I met my first hero ... I'm actually on my way out the door for a long drive to go see her & her family.  This hero changed my life.  She made me realize that my life needed to have adventure in all corners.  So, I started a list for my 50th year ... "50 things I've never done". By the time I turned 51, I had lost 70 lbs, faced my grief, and found a new zest for life.  She saved me.  I've told her many times but she is so humble she just gives that credit right...
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